Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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