physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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