I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
