there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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