You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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