Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
