No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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