you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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