I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
love makes seman taste better
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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