Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
