guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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