i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
