you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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