He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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