I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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