well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
