You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
