Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
