You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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