so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
