he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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