Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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