i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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