and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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