She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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