We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
where are my eyebrows?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
