Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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