So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
