He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
