mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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