I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
