i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
