update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
