That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
