What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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