I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
