In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
