SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I believe in your delicious
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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