so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
