you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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