I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
