Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
