literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
