the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She told me I should be a condom model.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
