Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
