When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
