Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
that may or may not have been my penis.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
