"it" just moved
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
