It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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