Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
