Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
high people should be assigned attendants
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
