We're facebook friends in real life
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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