i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
